And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
