Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
