at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize