32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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