nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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