Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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