grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
