hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
