suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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