Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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