there's paper in my vomit.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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