My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize