Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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