Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
