awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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