Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

:( I miss blowjobs.

(973): View more from New Jersey

This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.

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(517): View more from Michigan

dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

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(818): View more from California

Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

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(678): View more from Georgia

My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch

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(716): View more from New York

its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!

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