I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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