lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
