I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
