You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
