the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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