id be glad to
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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