I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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