Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
