just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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