id be glad to
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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