its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
