Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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