Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
