for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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