Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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