never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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