I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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