I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
