I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
