Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
