God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
