i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
