Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
