SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize