Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
