Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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