Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
porn star boner night. come get it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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