I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
