Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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