I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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