Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
