You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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