I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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