..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
