i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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