Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
