Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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