Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Randomize