I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize