apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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