I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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